According to AARP, there are an estimated 56 million unpaid family caregivers—and among the 11% who are long-distance caregivers, defined as living an hour or more away from their loved one.
“Isolation is a big thing, and they can tell you, oh, I’m doing fine and everything on the phone, but is that really what’s happening,” Goyer says.
Experts say several strategies can help ensure the safety of a loved one from afar.
Build a care team
Having people who are your eyes and ears on the ground, who can call you if they notice something amiss, is crucial, Goyer says. She suggests building a team of other family members, friends, neighbors, religious or civic community. Include service people or health advisors, the postal carrier, regular delivery drivers, doctors, and nurses, and ensure they have your contact information. There are even websites and apps to help you coordinate schedules and tasks.
You can also tap into other free and paid caregiving services or programs. However, they’re not always easy to find or access. Some require out-of-pocket payments, but others may be covered by health insurance or a long-term care policy.
Goyer suggests first calling your local Area Agency on Aging. They will know about local programs that can be a big piece of your caregiving puzzle. A local AAA can also help determine if your loved one qualifies for initiatives like PACE (a program of all-inclusive care for older adults), state or county programs that may provide free or low-cost assistance. The eldercare locator can direct you to your nearest AAA and other community services.
Hire an aging life care manager.
Also known as a geriatric care manager, a trained home care assistant, home health aide, or nurse will manage your loved ones’ care and act as a surrogate when you can’t be there. They can coordinate medical care, including accompanying your parent to medical appointments, managing medications, and conducting regular check-in visits. Hiring a care support advisor to recommend periodic assessments and to get an outside perspective on your loved one’s health status, limitations, cognition, home environment, and needs. Request a primary care plan that you can use as a template for future paid or volunteer care.
Use Care Support Assistance.
The adverse effects of loneliness, especially on older adults, are well-documented. Among people 60 and older who struggle with chronic loneliness, 45% risk dying sooner than their socially-connected peers. The health risks tied to loneliness are greater than obesity, physical inactivity, excessive alcohol consumption, or even smoking up to 15 cigarettes per day, according to Rudy.
Consider a home care aide or personal care assistant.
Long-term care insurance pays for an aide or assistant for specific hours. PCAs can help prepare meals and do chores like laundry or light housekeeping; home health aides assist with bathing, dressing, and other daily living activities.
Medicare pays for short-term home care approved by a doctor for skilled nursing care and post-hospital care for recovering from an accident or illness in the home and the recipient is homebound. Medicare does not pay for extended long-term care services for activities of daily living. While home care can quickly get expensive. Median monthly costs for a homemaker or home health aide can be $5,000 or more for 44 hours per week.
Adult day center.
These facilities deliver integrated therapeutic, social, and health-related services to help elders and those with disabilities remain in their community, according to the National Adult Day Services Association. The organization has an online center finder and helpful tips on choosing the right center for current and future needs.
Most centers charge a fee, depending upon the level of services required. Payment may be available on a sliding scale, depending on household income.
Adult day centers differ from traditional senior centers—in addition to social and physical activities, they provide on-site nursing care, daily health monitoring, medication administration, memory care, mobility assistance, and transportation. Staff are trained in emergency care. These costs may be covered under a long-term care policy or state waiver program.
Tap volunteers
Religious or fraternal organizations, high school or college service clubs, or community non-profits may have volunteers to call or visit regularly. These interactions can help alleviate social isolation, check for food in the fridge, run quick errands, or do simple chores.
Go high tech
Tech can help you monitor a loved one’s movements, from whether the fridge has been opened lately to how often mom got out of bed last night. Sensors and smart gadgets can whisk information to your laptop, allowing you to spot potential issues before they become more significant problems.